Humiliated

My employer goes no no no you shouldn’t have to accommodate yourself we’ll do this and this and this. One of the this’s being a larger monitor. My employer for set a monitor on my desk 30” at 720p I’m grateful but the monitor is useless to me as the dots are too big. I use / need a 1080p monitor always. The dot size is good the refresh rate is good blah blah blah. An “expert” comes by and says to you you don’t use the native resolution on the monitor anyway you don’t need it. Grrrr, correct I don’t use the native resolution of the monitor but, i do need the size. Size totally matters to me. I do need the finer dot pitch, makes things look sharp and I do need good color and refresh rates. So the “expert” tells me that its O.K. we’ll get you another 30” monitor.
I appreciate the intent but don’t try to tell me what I need. I’ve been living blind now for over 45 years you know absolutely nothing about what will work and what wont work. Sorry. I don’t care if your an “educated”, “expert” on disability and needs. I live with this disability every day. I refuse to use national organizations for the blind or disabled. They are not progress, I’m too high functioning, to tenacious to tow the poor disabled me line. Blow.
After asking me what to get then have some dough head come back to me and tell me what I’m going to get is frustrating. It’s actually humiliating.
I have accommodated myself. I’ve moved by big monitor from my home office / recording studio. My chair, scanner, keyboard, mouse, power bar, keyboard monitor switch, cables. Blah blah blah. I’m out of business at home so I can work at work. Saving for new bits so I can work at home again. Next time I’ll just have the stuff and I’ll tell whomever I’m good to go get out of my way and let me work…. No more of this nonsense….
I totally am loving the job as accommodation is a general indicator of tenure. They haven’t accommodated me at all they screwed up my pay and I still love the gig, go figure. I do feel better having accommodated myself. I have stuff I know will work and works well for me. to me its all about the work. I love to work.
The team I was working with at work was really starting to frustrate me. They came back to me after I’d moved all my gear in and started telling me that I should be grateful we did anything and I should be using the gear they supplied, its good enough. There are few very hot buttons for me: Not listening to me, Telling me what I can’t do, Lie to me, or tell me that I should be grateful for the pittance the consideration I am given. I in my younger days would have yelled so loud at this fellow his head would explode. Instead I told him not to continue he had no right talking to me that way. Then I notified my boss.. The good thing is he notified his boss so things straightened themselves out very quickly.
Through all of this I found a new friend with some good perspective. He contextualize the whole thing as the underlings applying the rules as they know them to be. You work here so you should get this and that and you’ll like it, there are no exceptions. It goes back to how will a system fails or how well a system deals with exceptions. If your one of the few that can live inside the “normal” lines you have my pity. For the rest of us with our needs we cause our life systems where we work where we play where live, exceptions.
This goes back to self advocacy. You have to be willing to deal with the rule enforcers and listen to their crap, respectfully. Then find out how the system deals whist exceptions. If you have to escalate then so be it, if there is another person or department so be it. If you have to eject because there is no flexibility so be it, at least you know. Better to find out up front if a job or situation can accommodate you and how they can accommodate you.
I don’t hold any malice to my employer for not accommodating me at all. We’ll they have accommodated me really they let me use my own gear to work. So I am accommodated. It would have been nice to have them buy some of the gear or come to an understanding on the gear but who cares at the end of the day? I can work and that’s whats important. Generally if the job was lame I’d be out of here but so far this job is very cool. I’m glad I have a new friend who offered some great perspective and context on those that apply the “rules”. All of this has given me new insight.
I did find the application of the rules humiliating. But that was my choice. I have a choice when I’m accommodating myself or being accommodated I have a choice to be humiliated or not in the application of the rules. Generally these people are just drones they do their job shovel their coal and go home. Once your past these folks though you can come to a place where your needs can either be met by yourself or the organization, or you can move on. I like it its cleaner.
I am reading the book “helping” its very interesting that receiving help puts you at a social disadvantage. I’ve seen this where an employer has accommodated me and its put me and my success at that organization in peril. There is so much penis envoy when it comes to big computer monitors. Its stupid really. The fact that I brought in my own ends all those conversations. There is so much jealousy if your given special gear, even though you need it, the others will hate you for it until they get something. Its stupid but alas true.
My being allowed to bring in my own gear and use it for work is a wonderful compromise that actually positions me better for success. No malice, no penis, computer monitor envy, no jealousy, who knew!!!?