No One is an Island

I have always been grossly independent. Historically if you tried to help me I’d crush you like a bug for your generosity. I’d take offense be offensive and stand in admiration at the beating I’d given you.
To all of you I’m sorry.
As I’ve aged I have started to take help from others and have learned to appreciate it. I had a manager once who taught me to allow others to stand up to a challenge and give them a break. He was very blunt if you expect a break and consideration why can’t you give it. Very significant personal growth opportunity.
Being out of work for six months is humbling to say the least. Its an opportunity to be introspective and reflective. I have historically been fantastic at finding a new job. Now the old tricks are not even working. Its very hard and scary to hear trusted friends saying there is nothing out there. The bad thing is believing it. There are always opportunities. If you’ve been reading the optimism has returned. I’ve allowed myself to get down on life.
I am able to write this blog due to the fact that my life partner works and is willing to support me in my endeavor to find a new gig. Her constant faith and support in me is also humbling. Not having lived my life feeling like I deserve this kind of support. Receiving it is very difficult but refreshing.
Being militantly independent meant that I was the sole provider for a family for over 15 years. Lots of pressures without a disability with a disability I can tell you it was terrifying.
My family and I recently went to my home, Alberta, in search of work. Seattle really is not a great place for the type of work I do or have done. I have been pleasantly surprised with the response in Alberta. Perhaps a job perhaps a return home is in the works. I’ll keep you posted.
On the trip home we spent two weeks with my parents we had a great visit. I so needed the time with family and friends. We seen as many people as we could but time and logistics didn’t allow us to see everyone. I’ve come to realize from the trip home much I’ve needed and how much I need these people in my life. I need the contact with them more than I’ve had and I need to feel the connection with my home and my past.
At this time in my life I have not the material wealth that I once had. I was seriously richer when I was a student. I know prosperity will return. But I also know it won’t look like it did. I also know I will need all the love support and friendship I have available to make it work.
I’d forgotten the importance of walking with others.