By June 15, 2013 Read More →

The Hardest Choice

Having children without the issue of a genetic disorder is daunting decision. Society is unkind to men and woman who choose not to have children. Parents, friends, apply a ton of pressure to have children. I’ve seen many people who don’t want children spend most of their life single as the pressure from society to have children is so intense. As I’ve aged to that place where I don’t think about having more children I’ve found a peace. I’ve seen people who hate children have children and suffer and be unhappy. I’ve seen people coerced into having children when they really didn’t want to. I’ve been in and seen many marriages split after the kids are a certain age. I had children with someone I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with. Messy. Now I can focus on the companion I wanted as apposed to the chick that would mate with me. Harsh I suppose but look around you.

Back to the genetic disorder. How many of you would consider having children when you knew there was a good chance that your child would have a disability of some sort. I still don’t know what it is with blindness but most people would be happier chewing off their own arm then going blind.
I was faced with this decision. Do I have a child knowing that there was a chance my child could have my disability. To be fair. I didn’t know the whole truth about the genetics. My family not talking about Ocular Albinism didn’t really know the genetic transmission characteristics of my disability. Head up your butt or in the sand doesn’t gain you knowledge. I was told I had no chance of passing on my disability. I find now that my children are young adults its not true.
I took a class in high school that talked about the pros and cons of genetic engineering. How all genetic disorders could be weeded out. How tests could be developed and decisions given to parents to abort children they didn’t want because of this issue or that disability. The class just about killed me. My self esteem was already teetering on the jagged edge and then my teacher was telling me that I won’t exist in the future because of genetic engineering and screening. What a load of crap. That’s how the human species evolves. Changes in genetic codes due to changing environmental factors.
What really is painful is that in modern western culture there is little place for the people with variances. Like me…..
Now to my children. My son is free and clear from this whole genetic issue. My daughter on the other hand has a 50/50 chance of passing along Ocular Albinism to a son. What a think to find out in your teens. My daughter has already decided no children for her. Given the divorce and the disability I don’t blame her for feeling that way. The ones I do blame are those that have gone before us who didn’t admit to their disability and who left us who fallow to learn and pick up the pieces of the mess that was created before we were even born. I just don’t want my daughter to grow up having to be alone because of all the silly pressure to have children. To be manipulated into having kids because that’s how its supposed to be.
I am proud of both of my children and I will support whatever decision they make on children, to have them or not to have them.
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