I Can’t Remember
Three words that reverberate through time and space. I can’t remember. I have recently become a big fan of Sandra Bulllock, especially her movies “28 Days” and more recently “The Blind Side”. In the movie “The Blind Side”. The school principle, having learned from the police that someone identified as Michael’s father has died, asks Michael if he remembers the last time he seen his father, Michael responds “I don’t remember”.
Three little words. I can tell you they are likely the worst words I know. With parental alienation, disastrous divorce, meddling x girlfriends, and parents, I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen my children.
I don’t know how they are doing, what they’re doing, if their healthy if their happy. I don’t know.
I can tell you what I do remember. Staying in an unhealthy relationship because I didn’t think anyone else would want me. Getting married because it was the right thing to do if you wanted children. Having children so my partner wouldn’t sleep all day. Living a disastrous life where the only way to survive was to travel and work hard and long hours.
The disastrous divorce. The law doesn’t seem to consider that if your disabled its harder to make a living and if your able bodied you should be working. Just a small point but huge in my case.
Parental Alienation should be punishable with imprisonment. I honestly hate my children’s mother. She beat up my son for contacting me. He and I quote “wanted to see if I’m as bad as she says”. Well when she found out he contacted me my son told me that she beat him up.
One of my x girlfriends who tired to run me down with her car and kill me. The one who carried a hand gun whenever I did a children drop off or pickup because she was scared of my children’s mother. Has apparently be friended my daughter.
My own parents not respecting me or my wishes on handling the situation and who have meddled to likely destroyed any chance I had at see my children again.
I don’t remember the last time I saw them. I love them so much.
Its awful because I will likely walk right by them if I ever do see them I won’t know them. Being blind means leveraging memory for everything. If the memory isn’t refreshed then the images disappear. I had always dreamed of having 10 kids. Now I have none. How sick is that.
I take ownership for not learning about good self esteem about hiding my disability. I take ownership for growing and coming out blind. I take ownership for turning my kids world upside down. I take responsibility for supporting the view that to be a good person you have to support someone. I have learned to take care of me and live my life and then give to others. I’m much happier. I hope and pray I’m now a better parent and setting a better example now then I ever did.
I hope and pray that I see my children again and recognize them. That we can find a peace together. I hope and pray.
I don’t know how they are doing, what they’re doing, if their healthy if their happy. I don’t know.
I can tell you what I do remember. Staying in an unhealthy relationship because I didn’t think anyone else would want me. Getting married because it was the right thing to do if you wanted children. Having children so my partner wouldn’t sleep all day. Living a disastrous life where the only way to survive was to travel and work hard and long hours.
The disastrous divorce. The law doesn’t seem to consider that if your disabled its harder to make a living and if your able bodied you should be working. Just a small point but huge in my case.
Parental Alienation should be punishable with imprisonment. I honestly hate my children’s mother. She beat up my son for contacting me. He and I quote “wanted to see if I’m as bad as she says”. Well when she found out he contacted me my son told me that she beat him up.
One of my x girlfriends who tired to run me down with her car and kill me. The one who carried a hand gun whenever I did a children drop off or pickup because she was scared of my children’s mother. Has apparently be friended my daughter.
My own parents not respecting me or my wishes on handling the situation and who have meddled to likely destroyed any chance I had at see my children again.
I don’t remember the last time I saw them. I love them so much.
Its awful because I will likely walk right by them if I ever do see them I won’t know them. Being blind means leveraging memory for everything. If the memory isn’t refreshed then the images disappear. I had always dreamed of having 10 kids. Now I have none. How sick is that.
I take ownership for not learning about good self esteem about hiding my disability. I take ownership for growing and coming out blind. I take ownership for turning my kids world upside down. I take responsibility for supporting the view that to be a good person you have to support someone. I have learned to take care of me and live my life and then give to others. I’m much happier. I hope and pray I’m now a better parent and setting a better example now then I ever did.
I hope and pray that I see my children again and recognize them. That we can find a peace together. I hope and pray.
About the Author: kyle
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