I Hate Being Blind

• I want to belong I want to fit in I want occasionally to be invisible
• I want to be able to do the same things as everyone else does
• I want to see my kids faces
• I want to be able to read a book or a menu
• I want to watch TV from across the room
• I want to be able to see a computer screen without leaving my nose prints on it
• I want to be able to have the same choices as everyone else does
• I don’t want to have to spend energy compensating
• I don’t want to have to accommodate sighted people’s needs
• I want to be able to drive and drive away

Yes there are days I am bitter and angry and hateful and resentful and want to feel and think like a victim. I admit it.
The trick is to manage it. Its O.K. to feel and to feed badly it really is. Its also O.K. to be angry and bitter. The thing is its not O.K. to let these feelings have an impact on your life. I take the time to celebrate what I can do. Thank God for the talents the gifts the people I have in my life, and the residual vision I do have. I sometimes take the time to grieve the things I can’t do or could do but now can’t, vision changes over a lifetime – for everyone. Then I get on with life.
I have learned recently more positive ways to take care of myself, breathing, praying, talking, exercising, singing. I have also learned recently that feelings are important and must be expressed and managed. Its not O.K. to burry them inside and let them fester like an apple rotting from the inside out. I used to eat and eat and eat. Or spend spend spend. Retail therapy is ineffective as is eating they both create bad longer term effects.
So even though I have a bad day now and then I am ultimately thankful for who and what I am. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Take Care of You.