By June 15, 2013 Read More →

What Makes It Work

I have had to find my own definition of who Kyle is and living with being blind. I couldn’t be a typical “man”. Male models don’t account for variance or difference or individuality. I couldn’t go and be the macho oil field rough neck drinking beer and chasing woman. Gross exaggeration my apologies but I need to illustrate. A “typical” Male model is limiting not accepting not feeling selfish harsh and cold. Not to say that all men are unfeeling unthinking monsters. My male friends are amazing feeling thinking sensual people who teach me and make sure I’m not being stupid. There are many things that a male model does give me, like Tenacity, Passion, Drive, Leadership.

The discrimination I encounter on a day to day basis is in my opinion nothing more or nothing different than the crap that a woman endures from men. The cat calls the assumption or determination that she can’t do it as well. Or that because she has a family she isn’t committed to her career. Or the demeaning comments or looks. I use a feminist model to deal with all the shit. The oh he can’t do that because he’s blind. How would they know. Or He’s blind don’t worry about including him. Or He won’t amount to anything because He’s blind. Or OH MY GOD he’s got a white cane RUN!!
I have a number of woman in my live who I call mothers. They are life mentors really. They teach me about living. They have given me perspective and teach me about other “P” words: Patience, Peace, Prosperity, Perspective, Persistance, Potential, Passion, Paradox, Practice, Pain, Partner, Penitent, for instance. The big word for me remains Patience. Letting life unfold as its meant to and allow the message to flow through as apposed to trying to direct life or color the message with my own meaning.
The female model allows for me to be me with differences with acceptance with variance and deal with the discrimination. I derive strength to continue from a feminine view of life. I can feel there is room for variance and nonconformance, there is acceptance. Conversely some of the nastiest unfeeling ruthless people I’ve encountered are woman.
I have recently come to a definition of god that I am comfortable with. Having God in my life is very important. I can accept that we are all created in Gods image and we all have purpose and value and a point to being here. Through my faith I understand that I am on the path that has been laid out for me. That I am doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. That the things that happen to me even though I wouldn’t have exactly chosen that experience. Are all necessary parts of my journey.
I also know that God has a wonderfully wicked mischievous sense of humour. Be careful what you ask for in your prayers. You might get it.
So Kyle is defined by a part of a male model a part of a female model and a lot of glue provided by my faith in God.

Posted in: Disability & Blindness, Everything Else, Living

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