You Can’t Do ThaT III

Our families of birth where we grow up and who we choose to call our family have a big impact on us. In the past I’ve had to manage issues with my families by moving away from them. Far away.

You Can’t Do ThaT III Podcast

There are expectations of roles and responsibilities and legacy. Your supposed to since your the oldest type crap. Birth order seems to make a huge difference as well. The oldest being the ones the parents made their mistakes on. The youngest benefitting from the oldest’s trials and tribulations and the middle ones being ignored.

Having a disability disrupts your family of origin expectations. My family even though I was oldest somehow tried to position the younger one as having to take care of me. Unfortunately to this day my younger sibling and I are not connected.

I have found the expectations of my families to be limiting. I don’t deal well with expectations to conform or expectations of role. I as I explained in another post I am viewed as inflexible. What it really is are the real world logistical issues of my disability. I have had to shed roles I’ve had to shed expectations. I’ve had to reject the roles and responsibilities of my families expectations. There are many things I handle because of my disability energy being one of them. Many of the roles I’ve not had the energy for many I’ve not been able or willing to accommodate or take on.

When I have been unable or unwilling to accommodate my families desires for the roles I’m supposed to play the response has been brutal and swift.

I’ve been outright rejected, ostracized. I’ve had my family team up with my friends to try and persuade me to do it their way. I’ve not communicated with my family for a lifetime. I’ve had my choices questioned and critiqued. I’ve had those closest to me be accused of controlling me or manipulating me. I’ve had those closest to me not be welcome or critiqued to the point where I have separated from them. A huge mistake that I will have regrets over for the rest of my life.

I’ve had to stand alone an orphan at times because my view or my decision was counter to my families. I’ve had to let go of family connections to grow to accommodate my disability do the unpopular thing to accommodate my own needs. Its not easy…

I continue to find my own way. I have reconnected with my family but we have all grown with life and are connecting on our own terms.

About the Author:

Kyle has ocular albinism and has been legally blind since birth. Kyle leads a very active live and is besides his professional career involved in many projects for persons who are different.

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