By June 15, 2013 Read More →

Facebook

Im not sure I’m a fan. I’ve had my misgivings, human relationships in life for are for a : reason, season, lifetime. Relationships have a lifecycle with an ending, unfortunately. If there wasn’t loss or pain in relationships how would we know when we had a good thing and work to keep it. If loss is reduced to availability then relationships deteriorate and turn into what’s in it for me right now, and decisions to change relationships can be made on what?, the money? the sex?, the prestige?. A system that circumvents the architecture of the social interaction is not necessarily a good thing.

Disability puts such significant limits on relationships. I can tell you no woman on the MRS degree program ever searched me out as a mate or even a playmate, and I’m gorgeous. Disability generally leads you to people who understand your particular brand of crazy. People for one reason or another are crewed up and spit out by the mainstream. People who have a taste or understanding of what it means to be put down, looked on as separate, being unacceptable. Its not a bad thing please we will all with age, illness, or disability experience all of these things. At the end of the day no hot babe ever came looking for the big blind man as a studly partner. Frankly not that I’d want one either I can’t afford it. Its an awful thing to say but in my middle age I feel like I now have the edge, the upper hand, society is so hard on single middle-aged woman, why I have no idea, for the most part in my experience they are lovely people. Anyway now I feel like I have a “choice”, which I’ve made and I’m happy with my life and my mate and I’m not going to let Facebook mess that up.
A system designed around the collage dorm experience is likely not the healthiest model. Collage was lovingly refereed to as the “fuck farm” at least where I grew up. Having a system where I could find out who was in a relationship or watch or ping them to see when they would be available again for sex was interesting. Being in a committed relationship or marriage that kind of capability can be nothing more than distractive. Having vultures constantly circling a relationship, past lovers, or potential lovers doesn’t enhance commitment. It perpetuates exploration, suspicion and mistrust, relationships end for a reason. Having that high school or collage sweetheart show up later in life or start pining you on the health of your marriage or your availability for a fling buys you what exactly?
Everyday at work I hear about people checking out, stalking, and watching their partner to see what’s going on. In a recent article I read that Facebook is explicitly mentioned in over 20% of divorces. Surprised?, I’m not. Facebook in my experience illicit s suspicion and mistrust. Grandparents and parents are a major Facebook sector monitoring their children and grand children. The privacy settings issues of recent time with Facebook are just the beginning. I have enough worries concerning employment just from the content of this blog let alone my presence and what people post on my page on Facebook. Someone posting “drugs rock” or “free sex” or worse on my Facebook page will impact my employability directly. I’m no longer willing to take the risk.
I’ve been doing some work on social media and marketing a brand. Marketing this blog in fact, Facebook hasn’t helped at all. There was an initial blip and now the blip is gone. Now my wonderful wife is on Facebook to “watch” me. Not a place I want us as a couple to be in. Relationships by their very definition stand on a foundation of trust. If participating in a site designed to stalk and find sex is in your definition of trust more power to you. But as I surmise most people in a committed relationship find that participation on Facebook only erodes and destroys trust devaluating a committed relationship as apposed to supporting it.
My wife and I, were leaving Facebook by choice. The marketing exercise failed for my blog, my blind brand apparently is irrelevant. When a new system comes and perpetuates itself in the marketing customer to business, business to business space I’ll likely take another look. But a system fundamentally designed for electronic stalking and monitoring so I can get laid is not in my opinion a healthy thing.

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