I Don’t Want To Help You

Recently I’ve met a new demographic. Until recently I didn’t understand that there are people who do not want to help. I live with a disability and sometimes need the assistance of another. It’s not that I’ve expected the help and there are some who haven’t helped. Until recently I’ve never encountered people who can explicitly verbalize that they do not want to help.
 
In my life I have encountered those that are abominated with my mere existence. Those that are aghast that I’ve somehow escaped the asylum. I grew up in a context of shame that I was born. Determination that I was unable to be a father when I had children. Can’t imagine that I could possibly have the competence or ability to collaborate professionally.
 
I used to take all this behavior of others personally, like I had done something wrong. That my existence is somehow shameful and dirty. It doesn’t work that way. I’m supposed to be here too. I don’t forgive you there is nothing to forgive, I acknowledge you are on your own path. Don’t think that I think I’m better I’m not, believe me I’ve made these mistakes myself.
 
This new experience of someone telling me they don’t want to help or don’t have the time to help is brilliant. At least they aren’t questioning my existence or ability. Telling me you don’t want to help is freeing it enables me to not waist any of my time or energy or humanity on you. Telling me that you don’t have time to work with me is brilliant. It really is freeing since I don’t have to make the time for you.
 
Since each of us is on our own journey in this world we are all unique we are all necessary. Life is magic for me it always has been I experience so much because I can’t see its sometimes difficult to explain. These people that express that they don’t want to help are a revelation to me. I actually appreciate the honesty and thank you that I don’t have to encounter you.
 
These people these folks that don’t want to help have taught me. Taught me that those that have no imagination or are small minded and disparaging are also doing me a favor. Identifying themselves so I know not to waste my time there.
 
There is no forgiveness required from you. I do belong here just like you do. I appreciate that you’ve identified your lack of imagination. Your lack of humanity. We won’t share the journey right now. One day if you say I’d like to share an experience I am here for you. Time will tell and one day you will understand. Life is engineered in a way that you will one day have to say, “Please Help Me”. When you have that day, I will totally be there for you. Until then safe journeys.