Canned Extrovert
I am a weird mix of introvert and extrovert. People who know me – friends or colleagues – would all call me a “flaming extrovert”. Generally this is true. However; in situations out in the world that I don’t have context for, or situations that are adverse to me seeing, I am a decided introvert. It’s a defense mechanism of sorts.
I am actually attracted to and more comfortable with an introvert as my significant life partner. Most of my friends just shake their heads in disbelief.Body language for most people makes up the significant majority of connection and communication. When I am out and about, these signals are unavailable to me. If someone doesn’t almost forcibly engage me, I don’t know they are there or that they are interested in connection at all.So generally speaking, I am introverted not by choice but by environment.
If there is an opportunity to connect, I generally don’t turn it down. If someone has made an effort to connect with me, they are usually very interested in conversation. I do not invest in searching people out because its too much work and I do it badly. I am not comfortable or particularly skilled with this behavior. I need a specific set of variables for me to be safe to seek connection.
When I participate in group activities I generally don’t know the group. Unless there is a conversation or connection, I simply don’t know you. It sounds awful. I sing, and when I’m working with a group of performers I will only know about 5 to 10% of the people involved, ever. It comes with the territory, for me. The flip side though, is that they will know me. I am very communicative, open and out spoken, and, OK, I’m loud. I tend to impact my surroundings in a big way. I’m a big person with an equally big personality and a loud voice. Some would say I’m loud and obnoxious. The “downside of this flip-side” is most people think I’m too popular and won’t interact with me. I cried when this lady I went to high school with told me she thought I was too popular and would never have had time for her. I’ve heard this through out my life. Its a shame.
So I guess what I’m saying is this: If you see me around, come and say hello! I’d love to talk to you!!
If there is an opportunity to connect, I generally don’t turn it down. If someone has made an effort to connect with me, they are usually very interested in conversation. I do not invest in searching people out because its too much work and I do it badly. I am not comfortable or particularly skilled with this behavior. I need a specific set of variables for me to be safe to seek connection.
When I participate in group activities I generally don’t know the group. Unless there is a conversation or connection, I simply don’t know you. It sounds awful. I sing, and when I’m working with a group of performers I will only know about 5 to 10% of the people involved, ever. It comes with the territory, for me. The flip side though, is that they will know me. I am very communicative, open and out spoken, and, OK, I’m loud. I tend to impact my surroundings in a big way. I’m a big person with an equally big personality and a loud voice. Some would say I’m loud and obnoxious. The “downside of this flip-side” is most people think I’m too popular and won’t interact with me. I cried when this lady I went to high school with told me she thought I was too popular and would never have had time for her. I’ve heard this through out my life. Its a shame.
So I guess what I’m saying is this: If you see me around, come and say hello! I’d love to talk to you!!
About the Author: kyle
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