Gripper

Being off work for so long over eight months takes its toll. I’m bitter that I couldn’t find a gig where I was. I’m bitter since it felt that because of the market and my disability I wasn’t getting jobs. I’m bitter I had to move.
There have been a number of decisions that I’ve had to make over the past couple of years that I am bitter about. I am praying to forgive others and myself. I’ll get over it. Leaving my bad marriage was the right thing to do. I always figured I’d lose my kids too and that unfortunately has come true too.
Trying to build a new life trying to maintain your career manage your disability. Being single being a single dad. All things I did with mixed levels of success. Too bad life doesn’t come with mulligans.
I so love the movie “The Legend of Bagger Vance”, with the metaphor for life being golf. Life being a game you can win but only play or live. Well I live to live so I make tons of mistakes and I have acquired the wisdom to say sorry and mean it and to admit when I don’t know something.
Will living over the past couple of years has been hard. But all the gripping aside. I have a job. It isn’t perfect but it is compelling and if I can solve the problems here I can do cool things anywhere. So far so good. I am remarried and happy in my marriage. My wife always tells me she isn’t normal. Cool I say cause I’m crazy. I used to say passionate but now I think I just nuts. Not really but. When you live life with my tenacity and passion you wonder sometimes.
I have come to the conclusion that regardless of the messes and muddles and puddles that you can attribute to me in this world. I am a good person. I am a good man. I am finally at that place where I am happy and content.
Ah you fellow bitter souls out there that are dying to say I’ve not amounted to much and I don’t have anything to show for my troubles. I bellow at you well lived in two great counties a number of cool cities and now a town. I’ve done things that have impacted people globally and worked with people globally to do cool things. So I might die a poor blind man but I’ve kicked the can and lived. If there are no bitter souls out thee who want to spit at me well I’m ready for you when you are.