Urine

I love the way the english pronounce urine it comes out like “your-ine” it used to piss off one of my managers, who was english, as I’d laugh every time he said urine. Little boys and their humour I know. I’m convinced that my old manager just capitulated and said it occasionally to manage my sick sense of humour.

Have you every wondered why boys get to stand up to pee? In my experience woman as well as men can both urinate standing or sitting. I suspect its a notion of being proper or something sexual dark and perverse or is it simply a matter of aim.

Most of us have likely seen the saying, “We aim to please, you aim too please!!”, politely asking us not to piss on the floor. If men standing and woman sitting is about aim then I think we’ve screwed up somehow. Some of the woman I’ve seen pee have way better aim than I do or could ever hope to have.

I worked in a food testing lab and had the good fortune of talking to the lady that assisted with the design of the building. I am a curious fellow and asked why there was SO much stainless steel in the mens bathroom around the urinal? Apparently men can’t aim. I was told that a tin can with marbles was used to help me learn how to pee. I was taught to pee standing up, much to the saccharine of anyone I’ve lived with. I can tell you as bad as a sighted man’s aim is with his pee mine is much worse. If I’m feeling bad, or mad, or am distracted my aim is much worse.

I’ve been noodling this notion of stand up peeing for a while. I feel bad when my wife is cleaning house and she is asking me what’s up because the pee puddles are bigger than usual or the garbage can has been pre minced with urine.

I’m coming to the conclusion that it might be better if I sat down and pee’d but there is some carnal male thing gnawing at me. On the other hand I love and respect my wife. The macho male model has never worked for me, its impossible to be a senseless shameless prick when your disabled. You need others too much. A macho male’s dignity wouldn’t survive asking for directions or getting help wiping their bum or getting into or out of bed. I think from now on I”m going to try to sit down and pee. At home anyway and if I don’t like you watch out for the yellow snow.

Posted in: Living
Kyle Bergum

About the Author:

Kyle has ocular albinism and has been legally blind since birth. Kyle leads a very active live and is besides his professional career involved in many projects for persons who are different.

Post a Comment