Divorce II

My divorce as all divorces was a pain. It was interesting how it ultimately worked out. The stuff was just stuff. The money was just money. I say that even after not having worked for four months.

Divorce II Podcast

Oh I was sucked into the big house the big car notion. I was sucked into the More Is Never Enough notion of materialism. After my divorce and with the current economic disaster the world is going through I have come to the conclusion that simpler is better.

Many people have many reasons for leaving their marriage. My marriage was not serving me or my x-spouse I suspect. To the point where it was very unhealthy for me. I’ve spent the last four years in counseling to recover from my marriage and my family of origin issues.

I haven’t acquired much wealth in my life. I’ve spent most of my money on distractions. On experiences that allowed my children and I not to fully experience the pain and suffering of the marriage. Its amazing to me how in my marriage when I had the big house the big salary the big car etc. that I didn’t have the time or money to have the things I wanted or do the things I wanted or focus on my dreams.

Now I have none of those things and I have the time and energy to focus on my dreams and I have the things that are meaningful to me.

My relationships with my children are interesting. I waited to leave my marriage until I was going to lose myself or die as a person. I waited until nothing mattered anymore not the material things not the kids nothing. I tried to leave the relationship earlier and the threat of never seeing my children again was used against me to keep me in the relationship.

When I was doing the agreements for the divorce I came to the conclusion that since I left and left everything, the children had the right to decide where they wanted to be. I talked to many people during this time and the conclusion from the discussions was that the children would ultimately vote with their own feet. The children would ultimately decide where they wanted to be anyway. Either when they were younger by being miserable and unhappy or when they’re old enough to legally indicate where they want to be and actually decide and be where they want to be. So I gave my children the choice. Even though my children were not legally allowed to make the choice I allowed them and respected their choice.

I ultimately expected to never see either of my children again. I was prepared since the relationship was so bad for me to never see my children again.

Life has a way of shocking and surprising sometimes. What do they say if you love something let it go. If it comes back its meant to be. Well one of my children actually decided to be with me. My other child chose not to be with me at all. I respect both children’s decisions. I respect the fact that they both made a choice that works for them. I support them in seeing me and in not seeing me.

I wish as a parent that things were better so that my children could have a relationship with both of their parents but in retrospect with how bad things were for all of us I’ll take what I get.

Again what does being blind have to do with being divorced. Absolutely nothing.

About the Author:

Kyle has ocular albinism and has been legally blind since birth. Kyle leads a very active live and is besides his professional career involved in many projects for persons who are different.

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