By May 9, 2013 Read More →

Cone of Silence

cone
I’ve talked to a number of people recently and I’m shocked. I have been ignorant and naive. People with any disability, visible or not, disease, affliction whatever feel like they are not allowed to talk about their condition.
I’ve been told by many not for profit organizations that their donors demand to be anonymous. The donor will donate but they do not want any open association with the organization.
I’ve been told and I know of many people who are impacted by a disability. Who will seek treatment but will never acknowledge or admit to having the affliction.
I’ve been told of and know of families with a person with a disability who refuse to talk about it or acknowledge it.
I’ve lived and have been told about families who have a congenital disorder and won’t talk about it or acknowledge it.
I feel and I know people that feel isolated and alone because people are afraid to connect with you.
Not talking about something doesn’t make it go away. No sweeping under the rug allowed. It just makes people angry and bitter. Once you take a persons ability to talk about something away you marginalized them, traumatized them. The thing you don’t get is you’ve done the same or worse to yourself. Taking language away taking conversation away isolates people. Isolation is brutal. Isolation, being alone will cause people to retreat, back away, stop talking, shrivel up, believe they don’t matter, then run away, at worst shrivel up and die.
Removing the conversation doesn’t solve the problem ultimately one must ask, “What is the problem?”. The problem is your own fear and feeling of inadequacy the problem is in you if you can’t talk about it. Not in the disabled person your ashamed of.

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