Living

Making Cookies

Making Cookies

My wife and I love to make cookies.    Actually this journey started when I still lived in the US.  I missed “Dad’s” cookies.  It’s a Canadian brand of oatmeal cookies.    My wife found a recipe on the internet to make them.  Bless her heart.   Well now that I have a big tummy again maybe not. […]

An Open Letter to My Children

An Open Letter to My Children

I love both of you very much.   I am proud of both of you.   Your stubbornness and tenacity and your ability to make a decision and live it is something to be proud of. I understand that the changes I made in my life were huge.   I knew that to be fair to you I […]

PEFFS

PEFFS

Pain Energy Fatigue Functionality Seeing I have included the “dictionary.com” definitions of each of these words for your edification and entertainment.    Seeing is a lot of work and how much I see and what I see is really dependent on PEFFS.    I define PEFFS as follows: PAIN:   They physical pain I feel from the act […]

Bootstrap Blindman

Bootstrap Blindman

Pulling myself up after being unemployed for a year is going to take some time.    The toll has been horrendous.    The job market in and around Seattle remains a disaster.   Personally I’ve lost my confidence I’ve lost my belief and understanding in my abilities.  I’m trying to pull myself up and out of this mess.    […]

Accomidation

Accomidation

As a blind person I get to observe experience and rationalize sociological constructs. One of them is accommodation. When we talk about accommodation we also need to consider the norm. What is the norm what is normal? In my exploration of with is the norm and what is normal I have observed that these constructs […]

Bad Dad

Bad Dad

I am a failure as a parent. Actually technically as a loving caring person I got better. but as a blind person who is a parent I’ve failed. Not living openly with my disability created dynamics that made the whole parenting thing impossible. It put pressures on me and my children to the point that […]

Show Me The Money

Show Me The Money

Being blind, being disabled, is expensive.    We all have certain costs for housing transportation, food, entertainment, clothing, etc..   From experience my costs are higher.    Having married an accountant I am not very aware of my expenses. Money has always been a problem for me.   Really not that I don’t make enough of it which I’m […]

The Ultimate Opportunity

The Ultimate Opportunity

Touching a persons life is above else doing the work of the universe of “god”. We are all together in this, if we feel unloved unwanted or alone, we are all together in this. This Life. What does it mean to touch a persons life. The negative side is easy. I’m disappointed I’m unhappy, I […]

Broken’s Parents

Broken’s Parents

A disabled child, shocking abnormal, broken, unacceptable, shameful, sin….. Having a “broken” child is such a disappointment. What have I done, what could I have done differently. Why is God punishing me!! Why Why Why. Its like waking up Christmas morning anticipating that one thing that you’ve always wanted you’ve always desired then … Its […]

Find A Happy Place

Find A Happy Place

My wife asked me today to find my happy place.   I resented her comment at first but I am starting to get it.    I am always reminded that we are impacted by those around us and in turn we impact them as well.  My life is truly blessed by the presence of my wife. When […]

Marginalized

Marginalized

People don’t get it. If you don’t look or act a certain way then you can’t be. I don’t look blind and most of the time am fairly highly functional. I have had a successful career although with the economy that is no longer true. People like to push you around like to determine what […]

I Believe

I Believe

I have faith and I am a very spiritual person. Organized religion is very hard for me.    Having lived with people who look at me and my disability with the moral model, I’ve sinned or my parents have sinned.  Its very hard to believe in a system of spirituality that condones and practices intolerance.     To […]

60 Degrees West & 15 Degrees North

60 Degrees West & 15 Degrees North

These are the coordinates to my favorite beach. Not really they are the misalignments of my eyes. Recently I had this really cool eye appointment at the hospital. My eyes are so misaligned currently they can refract me for new glasses. My options are, surgery. I’ve had Strabismus surgery before, the most single painful incident […]

Curiosity and Ignorance

Curiosity and Ignorance

I believe its human nature to be curios about each others story. What do they do? Why do they…? Often when I’m out and about I look at a home and wonder what is the story of the people that live there. Its easy to imagine on a cold wintery night on the highway seeing […]

Fear

Fear

I am having Strabismus surgery in March, and I’m afraid. When I wrote about the eye appointment to measure my eye alignment, misalignment, angles I wasn’t totally honest.   It was a very cool appointment but it hurt and it hurt a lot.  I had the prospect of repeating the appointment and all the tests but thankfully […]

PhotoVoice

PhotoVoice

I was surfing the news on the internet the other day and came across the following news article on the BBC news website. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8466714.stm There is an organization “Photovice” out of the UK that gives blind and legally blind cameras and teaches them how to take pictures. Some of these pictures are amazing!!! http://www.photovoice.org/ I […]

Alberta Health Care

Alberta Health Care

I’m spoiled, I’m concerned, I’m surprised. During my life in Canada and the US with my eye condition I’ve enjoyed the attention of an Ophthalmologist. Even for mundane things like new glasses. I’ve just moved back to Calgary, Alberta and the health care system here is in a state. A state of what I’m not […]

BlindManCan Audiances

BlindManCan Audiances

I have always been interested in who my audience actually is. I’m sure there is someone looking to steal my identity, good think I’m broke. I’m sure there are hackers that are piggy backing on the services I use to host this blog, I’m sure there are a few out there to monitor, stalk, and […]

LRT

LRT

In Calgary they have a light rail transit system dubbed the “LRT”, growing up here I’ve seen the LRT system from its genesis to its current and planned state. Its not a bad system gets you around about fairly effectively. My days when I’m on my own working or shopping or doing whatever require public […]

Escaped

Escaped

When I walk down the street most days I feel like an escape.   I should be locked up.  I should be in the shadows.  I should be kept away.  I am unclean.  I am a leaper.  I may be contagious.  Don’t let your children come near me.   Don’t touch me the blindness will rub off.  […]

Angry

Angry

To be disabled, different, apart, marginalized, is frustration. Frustrated at the things that you can and can’t do, the person you might want to be, the job you might want to have, the mate you think you might want. The things that take longer or are impossible. Fear of being rejected, left behind, abandoned, or […]

Liar Liar

Liar Liar

Enabler!! What a terrible term. I learned this term in my recovery, my coming out blind. I read a lot of different literature in my recovery one of them was the “Big Blue” book from alcoholics anonymous. I went to a couple of AA meetings and Al anon, meetings, an organization for those who’s lives […]

I Can’t Remember

I Can’t Remember

Three words that reverberate through time and space. I can’t remember. I have recently become a big fan of Sandra Bulllock, especially her movies “28 Days” and more recently “The Blind Side”. In the movie “The Blind Side”. The school principle, having learned from the police that someone identified as Michael’s father has died, asks […]

Why Do I Have to Accomidate You?

Why Do I Have to Accomidate You?

Its amazing to me how many people haven’t got a clue what a white cane is!!! Its amazing to me that no matter if your carrying a white cane and your recognized as blind people will not accommodate you!!! Then there are the forms of life that have the stupidity to judge you “not disabled […]

Battery Powered

Battery Powered

I realized yesterday with a thud how reliant I am on technology to get through the day. I was attending a conference one of the best I’ve ever attended. My Jordy’s battery died back to the monocular. I’ve used a Jordy for a number of years now and I think its time to replace the […]

Its Monday and Everybody Works on Monday

Its Monday and Everybody Works on Monday

Have you ever seen the movie “Dave”? I still tear up when I watch it. In my career I’ve looked for and found new jobs I think fifteen or so times. I’ve learned a lot about networking and job searching. Many compliment me on my job searching abilities. There are times when finding the job […]

They Didn’t Even Know

They Didn’t Even Know

I was dumb struck recently. I was visiting some cousins of mine in Edmonton. They had absolutely no idea I couldn’t see them. They knew I was blind but they had no idea to the impact of my blindness. My cousin asked why I didn’t talk to their child. I had to respond I can’t […]

I Should Have Known

I Should Have Known

I connected with a cousin of mine the other day. During the conversation of catching up we touching on my disability. She knew I was blind, but not what that meant or what it was called. I should have known. I’ve spent so much time lately being angry and frustrated at my family of origin […]

Poverty / Prosperity

Poverty / Prosperity

I was hypothesizing about growing up in poverty, disabled, blind. I grew up in Canada. Generally the poverty levels here are better than in other parts of the world but indeed poverty exists here as well. I’ve done some reading and research and have had several conversations about poverty. I am no expert on poverty. […]

Technical Accomidation

Technical Accomidation

I’m struggling with the issue of technical accommodation, who’s responsibility is it, who pays, and who gets to keep the gear?. As a disabled person there are pieces of technology that make many things in my day and my personal and professional life possible. I’m going to publish a picture of myself showing the technology […]

My Greatest Gift

My Greatest Gift

I wanted to write a book about my experience with blindness except I couldn’t think of the punch line, the hook or the message. Honestly I am not the joke even though I have been accused of being the joke once or twice. There really isn’t anything profound as I believe that everyone is born […]

Change is Good

Change is Good

Professionally I help Information Technologies Service Delivery teams grow.     Teams like individuals get stuck in ruts focusing on the negative or failure and not focusing on success and building on that success to be able to do new and cool things.  When the focus is on the failure connections between team or family members are […]

Driven To Achieve

Driven To Achieve

People look in awe at my career.   I am in the top 5% of wage earners in North America.   I’ve often had this monkey on my back about not having a degree.  A job coach once said to me.  Will the degree help you earn more money?  My answer has been no I already make […]

Blind Jokes

Blind Jokes

I love humor and more often than not I need to laugh at myself.    I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the subject of blind jokes.  Especially in light of the movie Blindness, I know the move was controversial to some.   I actually read the book “Blindness” that the movie is based on.  I […]

You Can’t Do ThaT

You Can’t Do ThaT

People love to tell us what we can and can’t do.  In some ways unfortunately we are shaped by our environment and those around us.     The people in our lives have a strong influence on what we think of ourselves and what we hold true about our abilities.   Look at a marriage with an abusive […]

You Can’t Do ThaT II

You Can’t Do ThaT II

I love it.  You can’t do that!!  Why not? Because you’re blind!!! I get this often.  You’re not supposed to do that.  Here let me do that for you.  It’s amazing to me other people’s conception of your abilities.     I love blindness as a metaphor because blindness is used to describe so many “can’t do” […]

In Your Eyes

In Your Eyes

I see the world and am provided rich experiences through the eyes of others.    I love people in general.  I believe everyone has something to teach and everyone provides a unique view of the world and the experiences in it. In Your Eye’s Podcast When I am out and about I love to go with […]

Public Perception

Public Perception

I’ve being pondering the issue of public perception of blind people.   I have often wondered why a blind person using a guide dog is perceived in a better light then a blind person using a white cane.   The answer embarrassingly enough is obvious.   Who would you feel better about a person with a well behaved […]

What is Normal?

What is Normal?

I work in the Information Technology industry and have designed and implemented a number of large systems supporting global requirements.    Each system is different.  Each system has its own unique way of being measured and behaving.    Each system was designed for a different set of business reasons in different market or industry segments.    Each system […]

Why I’m Out

Why I’m Out

Why on earth do I identify openly as a blind person?   That according to most people who have shared their own fears with me is the worst thing ever.   When I came “Out” as a blind man, it was very difficult.   I had grown up believing that if I could hide my blindness that I […]

Growing Up Blind

Growing Up Blind

I read this little book. More of a pamphlet really on blind children and their development. I was going to the University of Alberta at the time, trying to study computer science. Oh Well. Had these great libraries I was curious so I looked. The book was very cool and described some behaviors that I […]

SNL

SNL

The folks at Saturday Night Live are stupid. Humor and comedy is generally best at someone else’s expense but. Generally there are limits of good taste. I think these limits were passed. I can sluff off a blind joke made to me privately or in public, to a point. There is a point where its […]

How Do I Know Its You?

How Do I Know Its You?

Do you really want to know how I identify people? Well, O.K. We’ll go through each one of the senses and I’ll let you know things that help me to know who you are. Smell. This is a big one. I remember how someone smells and have found people from the wafting of their perfume. […]

Reverse Prejudice

Reverse Prejudice

I hate sighted people. Well that’s not really true but occasionally I am very derogatory to sighted people in general. I have been known to say things like “sighted people all look alike” or “don’t trust a sighted person for directions”. But this is all in jest. Its like the good humored blind jokes I […]

I Hate Being Blind

I Hate Being Blind

There are days I just can’t take it anymore. Knowing how differently I view the world How different I think How different my experiences are. How different I am. I hate it. I want to belong I want to fit in I want occasionally to be invisible I want to be able to do the […]

What Makes It Work

What Makes It Work

I have had to find my own definition of who Kyle is and living with being blind. I couldn’t be a typical “man”. Male models don’t account for variance or difference or individuality. I couldn’t go and be the macho oil field rough neck drinking beer and chasing woman. Gross exaggeration my apologies but I […]

Disclosure

Disclosure

Disclosure of my disability has always been problematic. I’ve tried the extremes being blind or hiding my blindness and not trying to live blind and as always the truth lies in the middle. At one point I wouldn’t disclosing my blindness. A friend offered that people might think I’m lying about other things if I’m […]

Vulnerability

Vulnerability

I was raised to be a fierce advocate. Brutally. I was taught to fight and taught to win. I was told you can’t trust people to come through for you, you cant rely on anyone but yourself. Be the little Red Hen and do it yourself. Vulnerability Podcast I love the movie the “5th Element” […]

You Can’t Do ThaT III

You Can’t Do ThaT III

Our families of birth where we grow up and who we choose to call our family have a big impact on us. In the past I’ve had to manage issues with my families by moving away from them. Far away. You Can’t Do ThaT III Podcast There are expectations of roles and responsibilities and legacy. […]

Definitive Disclosure

Definitive Disclosure

I’ve come to the conclusion that you might as well wear your disability out on your sleeve. Meaning just live it. Don’t try to hide it just put it out there. People are going to react to you anyway. No matter what you do people are going to reject and run if they are handicapped […]